Mission "I'mPossible"

Mission Log:

Sunday, September 19, 2010

1400 hours

My mission this weekend, should I choose to accept it: To drag my skinny white butt and 4 other gorgeous skinny white girls to Harlem. I actually had no choice...so I accepted this mission. It was a very dangerous and daunting mission. We had no tactical support and we were cut off from communication with home base unless an emergency arose. We disguised ourselves and took an undercover vehicle into enemy territory. We took over and secured a vehicle for transport from one of the natives in that area. They called it a "bus". I knew what it was and had done my research for this mission by using one before in a distant land on another op. But unbeknownst to me, one of my charges had never done this before. This threw a kink in the mission. How were we supposed to disguise ourselves as one of them this way? As their handler, I took it upon myself to quickly brief her on how to use one of these "buses" to look like a passenger. I would take care of the navigation into enemy territory.

We were approaching 1100 hours when we crossed the border into enemy lines. We were running behind, but as a good trained operative, I could recover quickly. One of the charges and I planned our attack and drew up a map.

Our plan of attack was this:

Infiltrate enemy soil until we reach their hq. That was around 125th. We were told to not go past that line for fear of being caught. Our mission was recon and solely recon. Obtain information as far as our covers would get us. From there we would head West over enemy terrain passing such places as the Harlem Studio Museum, Marcus Garvey Park, and we were to approach but not infiltrate their hq; the Apollo. We were then planned to evacuate immediately. Our route of escape would be diverse, tactical, and misleading. And, should we be followed, the enemy would not be able to deduce where we were from or where HQ is. We were to take another "bus" out of enemy country and into the neighboring country, the Upper West Side. Once there we would get off the "bus" and ditch the guises. We would then find new disguises and present ourselves as students doing a school project. We would then cut across town all the way back to HQ on 55th.

Sounded easy enough. Well it was.

As we walked on the border of the badlands, 125th, we obtained much info. We new our disguises worked, but we almost became overzealous in obtaining information. I was at fault here. I felt that if we had a bit better disguises, we would be able to infiltrate their hq. That's why I offered to pay for one of my charges, Ariana, to get a "weave" as we passed the "Coco Puff Hair Salon". I thought we'd fit right in. Thankfully my senses returned almost immediately and we decided against it. Part of the information we gathered was when we passed the Apollo. As we walked past their home base casually, we over heard talk of a conference they were holding this weekend. "Three Mo' Divas" were supposed to talk at this conference. I don't know what type of terrorist organization this was, but we overheard someone saying they specialize in soul, opera, and showtunes. I'm thinking soul means death of people. Opera and showtunes must mean they're targeting theaters all over NYC and possibly the Met. I will speedily report this and gather more intel for we may have a national security crisis on our hands.

As we continued to walk through Harlem, I noticed something peculiar about their method of organization among buildings. What we call "streets" they have, yes. But they name them twice. I figure this is to code messages with meeting places in them. For only the natives truly know which street corresponds to which. They name them after famous people, mostly from their race. Such as Malcolm X, or Obama. As I took notice of this, I was reminded of a book I read long ago called "Persepolis". In this book, in her home land, they would often name streets after certain famous martyrs to remind people of the death that someone paid for their country. I was also reminded of how Marjane felt being in a different country and not knowing anyone, not looking like the natives, and not being able to speak their language.

Back to the mission.

We passed the enemy base and gathered intel. Our recon was complete. Now we had to get out of there fast. We went to the rendezvous point and awaited our transport out. All went well. The vehicle arrived on time and we got on. But there was a little snag. One of my charges didn't come prepared and had no foreign currency to get on the "bus" with. As her handler I quickly intervened and completed the exchange without attracting too much attention. Once on the "bus" I quickly sat her down and spread us all out so that no one would see us together and get suspicious. I sat where I could easily keep an eye on all of them. On they way out we got ambushed by undercover enemies disguised as babies. One of my charges almost got brain washed. But she had strong mental strength and overcame the mental powers of the baby. Once in the neighboring country, we followed our course, split up, and lost all tails on us. We all arrived back safe at HQ on 55th later that day.

Mission Accomplished.

Drew Bloom

Sunday, September 19, 2010

1500 hours

The following pictures accompany this Mission Log.

1. The double naming of streets for use in encoded messages

2. Charge Ariana getting brainwashed by a baby.